Why ?

Why is it when I think of God all day and thank Him for all he has done that I end up with negative thoughts from the demonic one ?  Come on… Taking a hot bath and relaxing and then images of me in the tub with slit wrist.. WHY ?   I do not understand this at all !  I am the only one here right now so I shouted “Get the heck out of my head satan”  “I do NOT belong to you – I am the daughter of the Most High – God – My Creator – My Everything so leave me the Hades alone !”   I so despise my mind going that way !   I so wish I could control my mind at all times and that these freaking insane moments would leave me alone.

Reality – I know when you do more and more for our Abba that the demonic one comes even stronger at you.  I do my best to resist but he puts a damper on my parade for a bit.  I know that gives him more ammo but it WONT STOP !

Am I weak ?   I don’t think I am… so that means I must be doing some good for my Abba and that is a threat to the demonic one.   He really needs to re-read the bible so that he can acknowledge the outcome he will receive.   For me, I am the Daughter of the Most High and when my time does come – I will be in Heaven experiencing something beyond human understanding.

Mental Illness is so real and such a burden.  For the most part I see it as a curse and then clarity happens and I see the silver lining which is a blessing from Abba.   For we go through things so that we receive comfort from Abba and then able to show the same comfort to others that are walking the same path.

Abba  – I thank you for walking this path with me and teaching me how to comfort others. I ask in your Son’s Name that you continue this walk and also give me more strength to weakening the effect the demonic one is trying to do. Abba, I love you !